Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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