Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
