I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
