"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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