I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
