she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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