I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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