All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize