i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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