he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
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