I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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