hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
