My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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