Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
