dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Watching her eat just hurts me
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
