No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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