lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
