The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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