i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
