we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You peed on a flamingo?!?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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