rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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