Your dad touched me again.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize