I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
