im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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