Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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