No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
