I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize