so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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