My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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