We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
