I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
