I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
