I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
