That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
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