i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
This is the high leading the old right now
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
