It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm passing your future prison.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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