dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize