Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
