Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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