oh god the rape fog is back!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
