Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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