I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize