You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
