oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
