I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
