and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
