Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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