when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
