Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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