Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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