Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
