Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
