Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
