True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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