Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
