her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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