Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
