whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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