I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
