thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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