is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize