we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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