i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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