question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
