i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Holy shit dude........stairs
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
