I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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